Excellent

The cutest Cthulhu!

I love this so much, and, as everyone else has already said, I would buy the book.

this series is fan-fucking-tastic, keep it up!

"... could think of a thing that the thing there resembled"

I love this line!
Hilarious & Seuss-y sounding, yet sanity-blasting.

a very clever tale indeed. i suprised that Dr. Seuss didn't do this himself. The illustrations in his books seem to be from the mythos itself, so its seems natural that this style is used to illustrate this story.

Interestingly, H. P. Lovecraft was quite the poetry critic in the United Amateur. If you want extra bonus points, read his ideas about great poetry construction to see how HE would have done it (I think he'd love this).

Portions of his articles and critiques are available in "Works of H. P. Lovecraft: (150+ works) Novellas, Stories, Poems and Essays" in the Barnes & Noble online store.

well, I think you might have a hit on your hands because you can add me to the list of people who would love to have a copy of the finished product. well done, sir.

The idea and the art are WONDERFUL! A great series of belly-laughs as well as quiet chuckles at the details.

However, um.... You might want to get a little help with the poetry, especially if you want to publish this (which the art and humor certainly deserve!).

If you don't want crits, delete the rest of this before reading, but I'd love to see you tighten this up even further so nothing distracts the reader from how much the good stuff ROCKS.


A good way to test poetry - have someone read it out loud to you, fairly quickly, without time to stop and think about it. Any place they stumble is a problem.

Example of a GOOD verse: "When in walked Legrasse with a stone statuette, / With questions from experts Legrasse was beset." Anyone reading these lines would naturally stress the right syllables and the rhyme would come out right.

Example of a PROBLEM verse: "Why Angell believed the dreams of Cthulhu / became obvious when I read through file two." First. "Cthulhu" only rhymes with "two" if you stress the second syllable of "Cthulhu," but people normally stress the first one - so, reading that line first, they'll pronounce it normally, and then trip over the second line because it doesn't match.

But there's also the syllable pattern. You've got a nice steady beat on that first verse: "when IN walked leGRASSE with a STONE statueETTE, / with QUEStions from EXperts leGRASSE was beSET." Every third syllable is stressed, for a total of four stresses per line.

But the second example goes wacky on both the total count and the interval. Natural speech - the way it runs through a reader's head - would give us "when ANGel beLIEVED the DREAMs of CTHUlhu" (a missing beat before both the last two stresses, plus the extra unstressed syllable on the end) and then we've got too many potentially stressed syllables in the second half, because we could stress "when" or "I" or "read," and also either "file" or "two," but the total syllable pattern doesn't work right in any case. So the confused reade rmight try "beCAME obviOUS" - no, wait, that's not how you stress that work. Okay, let's try - "became OBvious WHEN i read THROUGH" - no, that doesn't come out right because the word "through" isn't that important. Okay, maybe "became OBvious when _I_ read through FILE two" - no, that doesn't fit the three-syllable pattern - and so on.

And when the reader trips and stumbles, some of the impact of your book is lost in their confusion, which is too bad. So it's worth tweaking until it moves smoothly.

Does that make any sense?

If you don't have a friend who's good with this stuff, I'd be glad to volunteer my help, because EXCEPT for the poetry glitches, this is an utter delight!